my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
