I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Say something about gay babies.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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