today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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