it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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