I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
