i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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