I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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