I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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