did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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