We won't sleep together?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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