I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
