Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
