i already hear my dad disowning me
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
