Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
