Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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