She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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