I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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