wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
