yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
