btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
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If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
