just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
