I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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