Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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