I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
