So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
