yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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