Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He felt like a one man threesome
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
