Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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