Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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