we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
