Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
