positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
