There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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