I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
