We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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