hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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