He is an equal opportunity slut.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
