Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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