What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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