Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
