I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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