***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Randomize
