She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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