you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This is my gift to your gina
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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