Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
