I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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