It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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