"it" just moved
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
