Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
