Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
