Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize