Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i out mim tonsoeep
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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